Elizabeth Bockheim On Awakening Our Awareness
Dec 29, 2023 09:31AM ● By Martin Miron
Elizabeth Bockheim
Elizabeth Bockheim, the AwaRNess nurse, is a certified nurse educator, social-emotional intelligence coach and owner of Shine Awareness. For 28 years, she cared for infants in the NICU and is currently a senior instructor at an online university where she instills values such as empathy, resilience and leadership into her curriculum for holistic success. Bockheim is an influential speaker and founder of Shine Awareness, LLC. Based in Southwest Florida, she holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Marine Biology and is a scuba diver.
What is Awakening Our Awareness?
There are many monthly awareness initiatives such as breast cancer awareness in October, autism awareness in April and self-care awareness in September. Awareness is an understanding or knowledge that something exists, which inspires enthusiasm and support for action. That includes what is going on inside us, too. According to Diego Navarro, founder of the Academy of College Excellence, in Salt Lake City, “When we are aware, we see things, and once we see them, we cannot un-see them.”
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is especially helpful because it influences our attitude, mindset, beliefs and behaviors toward the achievement of a goal or creating a change. Shifts in behavior that facilitate our overall well-being are often at the top of our to-do lists; physical well-being more so than mental well-being. Most people realize that exercise, diet modifications and attending yearly check-ups require physical energy. Going to the gym takes effort. Meal planning and shopping for nutritious foods while limiting others takes planning. Scheduling and getting to a doctor’s appointments takes intention.
What kind of work does it require to improve mental well-being?
Physical well-being requires some degree of mental well-being. Mental well-being is different in that it requires emotional work. Just as it may be challenging to lift weights or walk three miles, emotional well-being behaviors such as self-reflection and self-awareness like mindfulness and journaling may bring up unpleasant memories. Self-growth comes from self-reflection. Self-reflection is the deliberate consideration of our experiences yielding insight for a better outcome. It requires putting energy into our emotional selves: who we are, what makes us think and behave as we do, and who we wish to be. Awakening your awareness is the first step toward a healthier understanding of ourselves.
What prevents us from overcoming obstacles?
What thoughts or stories do you tell yourself that stop you in your tracks? How often have you asked yourself, “What if I fail?” Has self-doubt caused you to withhold a great idea for fear of being criticized? These are all Obstacle Illusions, perspectives and assumptions that hinder us and get in the way of our success. Reflecting on them is a great starting point to a journey toward a healthier you. Blocked by Obstacle Illusions, we fail to learn lessons we could have discovered by reflecting on those past fears and doubts; when we pushed through and conquered them. It is in our challenges, failures and successes do we become the authentic person we are today. It is by reflecting on our past journeys do we see we are the person we are capable of becoming.
How can we find a choice when it seems there are none?
Another Obstacle Illusion is choice. I have heard myself say, “I didn’t have a choice.” The fact is we have more choices than we think. When we are waiting for our plane and we learn it is delayed, we have the choice to get outraged or to take a breath and reframe the situation, thinking about how we could create a better outcome. When we become fueled by a difference of opinion and we lose our cool, we may say, “He made me so mad.” We do have a choice instead to be aware of what is going on inside us and ask ourselves in the moment, “What feelings do I feel? What physical sensations are going on in my body?” Think of the Incredible Hulk as he puffs up into the giant, angry super-hero we all know and love: He says, “Hulk mad!” (expressing his feelings, which is good) and “Hulk smash!” (breaking something, which is not good.) There are rare times in life where it is OK for us to turn into the Incredible Hulk with our words or our actions.
What is the way forward?
Awareness is the way forward. Self-reflecting on experiences leads to insight into what is necessary to make shifts in ourselves to improve our relationships and to have more peaceful, grateful, and resilient lives. Though sometimes emotionally hard to do, here are a few strategies to be better today than you were yesterday:Practice mindfulness: Aim for two minutes twice each day by taking time to be present wherever you are. Put your attention on your breath, noticing how the cool air fills your lungs as you inhale and the warm air as you exhale. Try concentrating on the sounds or aromas around you, or how you are feeling at that moment. If you notice a thought or a sensation, acknowledge it, let it go and then bring your awareness back to the present moment.
Be curious about yourself: What am I feeling at this moment? What do I need? What concerns me the most now? During challenging situations, your answers to these three questions may be the difference between actions you are okay with and those you may regret.
Journal your thoughts: When we write our thoughts down on paper, they become real because they are now in front of us; tangible and visible. Once we see them, we cannot un-see them.
Listen to yourself and take care of you: Self-talk is the loudest talk. If you believe in you, you are more likely to achieve your goals.
Become aware of the choices given to you: Awareness of choice shows us the freedoms we are all searching for. Choice is a value that must be considered and honored.
Practice gratitude: The more we go toward being positive or grateful, the more pathways are created in our brain for these, and the more automatic they become. Begin each day with a moment of gratitude.
Intentionally consider others: Empathy is the most important human attribute to every relationship. Show interest in others so they sense their value and importance.
Self-care: Take care of you. The most generous thing you can do for anyone else is to take care of you.
Self-reflection and self-awareness bring understanding, empathy, value, and connection. They allow us to recognize our own strengths and challenges. Self-reflection and self-awareness empower us to get out of our own way and to remove personal illusions that become obstacles hindering our success. They open our hearts and minds to new ideas and perspectives. Awakening the awareness of the unique person that is you is the first step toward positive health, and emotional and relationship well-being.
For more information, call 941-841-1980 or visit ShineAwareness.com.
